I won’t :)
I don’t know, I’m just ready this time. So ready to change.
I have been making so many promises to myself in the last 3 years… tomorrow I’m going to wake up and I’m going to do everything differently -But it never happens. My promises don’t mean anything to me anymore and i have lost all trust in myself.
I have lost all faith in myself. I no longer trust that I will instinctively do what is best for me. If left to my own devices I would eat everything in the cupboard and becoming more and more ashamed and unsociable.
I need to gain some faith in myself, I need strength to not only get out there and live life to the fullest but also to believe that I can do it… its not impossible, I’m not weak, I AM still me!!
I am currently in my last year of uni. Along the way I have met a lot of intersting people, done some great things…. ate so many chocolates and drank so many beers. Now I am carrying the heavy weight of uni around, not on my shoulders, but on my bum.
Despite having fits of excercising and dieting I have been unable to keep the weight off long-term. Im hung up on food -I binge, starve, and sneak food. Yesterday I officially reached a state of fat mess when I snuck a small scoop of ice cream from my flatmates stash to make an iced coffee -and that was that -within an hour I had made 4 trips to the fridge and had devoured the entire tub! Instead of owning up to my embarrasing binge I said that I had left the freezer door open and everything had melted. This episode, along with many more, have become a regular routine in my life. Recently I was daignosed with PCOS so now I understand how important it is for me, both mentally and physically, to get my arse into gear!
My aim is to get back to the weight I was before I went to college. This time I am attempting a lifestyle change -once the weight comes off, its not going back on!